Most people have a weird story over how they lost their virginity, but never have I heard something like this. Have other people lost their virginity on a waterbed? Yes, but when you combine it with the fact that Gruden lost it to the tune of the Notre Dame fight song, which was only playing in Chucky’s mind, makes this an all-time story.
I always associated the Notre Dame fight song with Rudy, but now when I hear those trumpets hit I’ll think of Jon Gruden on a waterbed in South Bend. Ruined forever.
Porn Watching Habits:
“I’m an American male—if there’s a good-looking girl, I’ll fast forward to her best scene.” Talk about efficiency. Every second matters.
Girls Over Football?
Just when I was ready to say Gruden is a Football Guy’s Football Guy, I see he said this. Football over everything.
“I was like Christopher Columbus, finding a new world” CHUCKKKYYYYYY!
Locker Room Talk:
Love how effortlessly Gruden transfers from saying he doesn’t look at the guys when they are naked but knows immediately who is the “funkiest body naked.” Just guys being dudes.
His First Hot Date:
“I wanted to have a sustained drive.”
Viagra Pump Up Speeches:
We’ll end with this. What a speech.