I need to set the record straight here as there are claims that I am a fraud in what comes out of my dumb mouth. I made a joke that turned into a lie on the Barstool Sports Advisors After Show (Watch it 10:30 on Sundays) and it took a turn on me. I take responsibility and it was a tough look for me. I am here to set myself free as my voice does sound like this, my brain doesn’t work well or fast and to think I can be capable of being a plant is almost a compliment to me.
I had a job before this one that I had to put on an act because I wanted them to think I knew what I was doing so I can get a promotion. I am very good at getting places but once I get there people get full wind of how I really am usually enjoy me but say “ damn he’s a moron.” Unfortunately when I talk to Dave my words don’t come out how I want to and he makes me nervous as a bastard. My goal is to be here for life so me as a plant is a farse. If you don’t think this is me I guess thank you because you think I am a smart person. My stories are so obscure that you would have to be an absolute crazy person to make up taking shoes out of a garbage and selling them to make some coin.
When I first auditioned, you can tell that my thought process just doesn’t connect and I combine sentences that don’t make any sense. I mean you are reading this you can tell that this isn’t my strong suit. My brain is weird as dog shit and at any moment I don’t know what is coming out of my mouth. Whatever comes to the mind I say it.
So to set the record straight, I ain’t no fraud. It is Mush to The Moon at all times and I will continue to win my bosses trust and my voice I just have no answer for. This all incorporates on my Mushness because who in the world has a worse voice than mine. Between gambling, my voice, my brain, it is all just mush. At this time I will only take compliments on twitter and have started to gain some support from co-workers. No Fraud here, I am a rattled bastard. I wish this was a shtick but it simply isn’t.