As you can probably tell I always look for a good deal and this weekend I thought I struck gold. The way I research things is like ” massage near me.” First one that popped up was a fantastic price of $40 for a half hour so I said fuck it were going to fang fang. (That was the name of the massage place, probably a red flag) The second sign where I should have realized something was up was when she grabbed my arm and threw me into the room as fast as she could. I give people the benefit of the doubt so I went in there with a clear mind, laid down on the table in just my skibbies. Which was unpleasant for your private parts because of how cold it was in there.
With all this Rough N Rowdy training I needed a day to pamper myself and loosen up my muscles. For the first 20 minutes it was a hell of a massage and she was just making small talk event though I had no idea what she was saying. I even fell asleep during it and drooled all over the place. This next part is where it went a weird way.
She said “Okay you done now turn around.” I thought this was my cue to leave but she was muttering something along the lines of saying “no finish?” At this point I am confused and she started making hand motions. The absolute worst part of this experience is that you are separated from other people by just sheets. Sheets do not have the best sound protection. This is where I finally realized I was at a happy ending place and I can’t believe this is a real place. People seek this shit out and get this service done. I walked out of that place with a my head down and with oil just everywhere. If you want to feel like a bag of shit, I recommend this but getting blindsided from this was funny as shit. She was yelling at me the entire time and I just couldn’t stop laughing either. Safe to say it was a hell of an experience. I felt like I was in the curb episode where he stops the person after 11 pumps because he didn’t think he was cheating. It was a real life curb episode because I had to ask why she was putting her hands places where they didn’t belong.