That bowl cost me 12 damn dollars, Dave

Bowls are incredibly useful. You can eat cereal from them. You can eat ice cream, soup, I’ve heard some people even use them for recreational marijuana usage.

So if anyone wants to give me a bowl, I’d gladly take it. I have four kids and a fatass dog and I am continually running out of dishes.

So my wife, unbeknownst to me, spent 12 bucks of my money to purchase a gift for our dear leader and shipped it to New York. Again, this was without my knowledge. So there I am, waking up at the crack of noon today and I see Dave discussing the gift and the card with it.

I’m not sure why my beautiful and saintly wife felt it necessary to send a small utensil to a guy worth millions, but she sends gifts to everybody. Anyone new in our lives, they get a gift. And the card, which referenced Jesus, was my wife at her saintly best. Not the strongest move to send our new Jewish boss that card, but she willingly has sex with me even though I look the way I do, so I generally accept anything she wants to do.

But I had to say something. So, like the man of the house that I am, I strongly confronted her about it and said, in a booming voice, “Ummm, hey…..I love you, sweetie……ummmm…Listen no big deal and I love you…He’s Jewish.”

She was apologetic and said “Oh shoot. I shouldn’t have done that.”

And there you have it. Bowl-gate 2019 is over. We can all go back to our lives.

Much like Michigan’s last bowl, this was much ado about nothing.