I have stared at my computer screen for three hours trying to make a pick for Game 1 of the NBA Finals. Still got nothing. There are numbers and gut feelings on both sides. Golden State is 12-0 in their last 12 Game 1s. Toronto has a former NBA Finals MVP. Golden State has won three of four titles. Toronto had arguably the best purple uniforms in sports history 20 years ago.
I go back and forth.
So when you’re stumped, you dive even deeper than numbers. Let’s find out who these guys are and what they’re all about. Maybe that’ll help me figure this all out. All of the following facts are ripped from the NBA.com bios of each player.
Serge Ibaka – Has 17 siblings. Wore No. 7 to honor his mother and wears No. 9 now to honor his father: I have four kids and can almost guarantee none of them will ever wear any number to honor me. Either these two parents are saints or I’m an asshole.
Kyle Lowry – Lists his favorite food as pancakes and his favorite athlete of all-time is Barry Sanders: I think I’m on Team Lowry now. I mean, shit, pancakes and Barry Sanders? Yes, please.
Kawhi Leonard – Has no personal details listed on his bio: That’s seriously the most Kawhi Leonard thing ever. Kawhi for MVP.
Patrick McCaw: Chose to wear No. 0 because he has “zero worries, zero doubts.”: Well damn. Ok then.
Draymond Green – Is a fan of the Steelers, Yankees and Red Wings: Fuck that noise. A native of Saginaw, Michigan who loves the Steelers and Yanks? Listen, nothing against either of those teams but if you don’t have local ties and you love both, you might just be a frontrunner. Again, I don’t mind the Yankees or Steelers. I just don’t know how you arrive at that combination.
DeMarcus Cousins – Lists “The Wood,” “Menace II Society” and “Love & Basketball” as all-time favorite movies: I like all of those movies.
Andrew Bogut: Favorite foods are soup with noklice (semolina dumplings), cevapi (small grilled rolls of minced meat), burek (a pastry filled with meat, cheese or vegetables) and mum’s chicken schnitzel and potatoes. He also owns two siberian huskies: Am I the only one that immediately falls in love with any new food I hear about? I don’t know what the fuck any of that stuff is but it sounds delicious. Also siberian huskies are awesome. I really like Cousins and Bogut right now.
Steph Curry: An avid golfer, competed in the Web.com Tour’s Ellie Mae Classic at TPC Stonebrae on an unrestricted sponsor exemption in August 2017, shooting a 74 on both days: Shooting 74 is pretty impressive. Why didn’t I know this already? I feel like I did know it but it wasn’t interesting enough to stay in my brain.
Kevin Durant: Just kidding, fuck him.
I still don’t know. Toronto will be crazy as shit tonight. But GSW is ice cold in these spots. I’m leaning Golden State but Draymond being a Steelers fan from Saginaw bothers me. I just want to eat pancakes and watch Barry Sanders highlights on YouTube.
I’ll have my final pick on my wildly successful periscope show, “Walk The Line,” which you can watch @BarstoolGamblin at 6 p.m. Wink.