Braves signing Dallas Keuchel, pretty much securing NL East title

Yep, the Mets and the Phillies are good and fucked now.

Keuchel has a 2.55 ERA against the NL East, his best against any division. I don’t even know how many games back the Braves are right now, and yeah the Phillies are pretty damn good, but you need to know three things about me.

1) I’m a Braves fan

2) I plan to be an insufferable dick about any little thing that any team from the Southeast does from here on out.

3) And Dale Murphy should be in the Hall of Fame.

Adding a fourth thing: Apparently the Braves are two games back.

And a fifth: Fred McGriff should be a hall of famer, too.