Hot Girl Summer Is Cancelled Until Ladies Stop Wearing These Ugly Dinostompers

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I've got a bone to pick. A MASSIVE bone to pick. Ladies, these shoes? They've GOT to go:

The girl in that photo is Olivia Jade (Aunt Becky's daughter, the one she paid for to get into USC), who for some reason was spending her summer Saturday night in Tuscaloosa, Alabama:

She isn't the first nor will she be the last girl who rocks these bricks for shoes. I don't know how it happened or who was brainwashed, but somewhere along the line at the end of 2018, these shoes were announced cool:



They even are given an extra level if you don't think the ones above are ugly enough:



If you haven't seen these out in the wild yet, don't worry, you will. They will most likely be worn by an attractive girl, such as Olivia Jade. You may be thinking at this point, "Jack, you look like Beans from Even Stevens, stop complaining about shoes on an attractive girl." To that, I say: fair point. However, I've tried that thought process with these shoes. It's just gone on for too damn long. I can't be quiet on it anymore. I know they are just shoes, but I'm over being a rational guy about this. It's time for me to put my anger hat on about these Dinostompers. It cannot be Hot Girl Summer if you are walking around looking like this:

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I have two thoughts when I see these Dinostompers on a girl. One, I check to see if they are prescription shoes. Second, I think of the Seinfeld episode with Jimmy's Training Shoes:

And of course, the iconic scene with Kramer wearing Jimmy's Training Shoes:



I've heard from girls that these shoes are considered "sexy:"

They are not sexy. Nobody considers them sexy. Maybe FILA has brainwashed all of you somehow, but these shoes NEED to be canceled at all costs. It's a shame these shoes don't have an old Twitter with a bunch of racist tweets so we can, as a society, throw these dinostompers in the trash.

Hot Girl Summer are down 50 to City Boyz due to these shoes. Hot Girl Summer is cancelled until these shoes are CANCELLED.