If You're Not Taking Notre Dame -18.5 vs Louisville Then You're A Big Dumb Idiot

Last big contest of the weekend, even though you’ve already had to pay your bookie from how badly you fucked up over the weekend. It’s a new week and Notre Dame v Louisville is the perfect way to start off in the Green Dot City. Now, I am not going to use the G-word. Only an absolute moron would throw out a guarantee about their favorite team in their first game. I am not going to do that. Instead, I am going to give you some information that you can use to make up your own mind. If you don’t use it, well then you’re an idiot.

1) Louisville only kept ONE Power 5 opponent within an 18 point margin of victory last year(it was Florida State who also sucks). A team that not only went 2-10 on the year, they got absolutely blown out in 9 of those losses. Not great when you have a top 10 team coming to town.

2) Louisville was 128th in the country on defense and 121st on offense in 2018. If their record and the blowout losses didn’t tell you the whole story then maybe those figures will help

“BUT CHIEF…new coach. Bobby Petrino is a scumbag and the team quit on him”

Yeah Petrino is a scumbag and this new guy from App State might get the team going and it’s a new year blah blah blah. Here is the problem though…Petrino left a smoking crater behind him

3) When new coach Scott Satterfield arrived at Louisville for his first spring leading the Cardinals he had exactly SIX scholarship offensive linemen on the team. Six. Only one position had a backup. That is…not good. Not good when you’re playing anyone. Really catostrophically bad when the Irish are coming Week 1 with two defensive ends ranked in the Pro Football Focus’ top25.

Louisville brings back 3 starters from last year’s pile of shit offensive line. They’ve got a grad transfer at center, a former walk-on at RT, and three true freshmen in the 2-deep. They’ll try to protect a returning starter at QB who was one of the worst quarterbacks in the country last year.

4) Puma Pass, which is admittedly a sweet name, finished the season ranked 99th in completion percentage, threw 12 INTS in 9 starts, and his leading wide receiver is gone. It’ll be a nice game for Notre Dame to break in a few new linebackers because Louisville STINKS.

Again, not in the business of making guarantees, but if you can look at that information and talk yourself into Louisville +18.5 with a new coach just because they’re playing at night then you’re an idiot. That’s a fact. Lamar Jackson isn’t walking through that door. Be smart. Put that bet in now. Give yourself a nice cushion before Week 1 of the NFL season starts on Thursday.