CUNCEL DA CHEFS!!! I have been looking for a sign of which team had the juju advantage in this evenly-matched Super Bowl all week and thought that Andy Reid's likability and Tommy Bahama wardrobe would end up conquering whatever the Niners had cooking up.
However, after seeing Fiona The Hippo lose her goddamn lunch at the mere sight of the Chiefs, I am officially driving to the nearest Penn National Gaming casino and putting Max Units on the Niners. I don't care that Fiona only has a 50% winning percentage when picking games. As someone that is coworkers with a gambling goldfish, I respect the picks of every living being on God's green Earth. I would lump all the expert picks of humans, amphibians, canines, aquatic animals, and hippos together before deciding on my bet. All that changes with Fiona puking all over the KC arrowhead because that's pretty much the worst thing that could happen to the Chiefs karma outside of a gambling walrus dying on his way to pick the Chiefs.
UPDATE: Yeahhhhh, I'm definitely not touching the Chiefs on Sunday*
*Other than Mecole Hardman first touchdown, which I will be betting every week for the rest of his career until it hits or he retires