Illinois Is Now Taking Your Sweet, Sweet Action

Even when this was supposed to be a slam dunk, Illinois still found a way to nearly fuck it up. We've been patiently waiting, expecting this to completely fall apart at any moment yet here we are - action has finally made it's way to our sportsbooks. Even now with it *actually* happening, I still don't believe it's *actually* happening. Within no time we'll be balls deep at betting kiosks strategically located around Wrigley Field, loading up on the Cubs -1.5 because we like free money and everyone's asleep at the wheel handicapping the NL Central. 

Personally, this is great news for me because Penn's Hollywood in Joliet is about to double as my lake house. Window's open mean Carl is in business. Only problem I see is that I might take the house for too much during baseball season and I don't want to impact our stock price too much. Like what if I get hot and bankrupt the company? Would Pres & Erika fire me or would I still get to do my podcast with White Sox Dave?  

These are the kinds of decisions I'll need to meet head on now that we're taking action and filling out parlay cards. No one said this job was easy but someone has to do it. Someone has to run a one-man train on the oddsmakers and it might as well be me starting with the Cubs over 84.5 wins in 2020 for even money. I hear the noise about the ball club but don't insult me in the process. David Ross doesn't lose more than 77 times in 162 chances. Let's keep it simple. 

Elsewhere, curious how the pick "The Guy" behind the counter to take the first bet. Obviously you get Eddie to make it because he's the #1 local gambler. I don't think there's much argument behind that. Eddie's been on the ponies for as long as he's been on skates and it's one of the reasons we love him. 

What I don't understand is how they pick the right middle aged guy to take the bet. This guy right here....

That's the most Vegas looking blackjack dealing middle aged face I've ever seen. Straight out of a science lab that manufactures these guys. He has no problem cleaning you out with a dry smile and horrible sense of humor. Like pilot - got one of those blank faces you just can't get mad at. The face of a man who is in total control at all times. Could work 30 years on a casino floor and not make a single bet for himself the whole time. Just an absolute psychopath of a human being and objectively speaking - they make the world go around. I love those guys. My guess is this is Rivers #1 starting pitcher and I want to go on record that I respect his stuff. Formidable presence indeed.