The Hedge Fund: Don't Have to Hedge a Hog's Picks

So I won an OG friends of the program parlay and with that money put a down payment on a pygmy hedgehog. The only way I could justify the purchase was to try to make the thing pay for itself with NFL picks. 

My love of animals reignited once my football career ended because I had to look deep into my soul and figure out what I truly loved in this world. I remember I used to catch a bunch of animals growing up and had frogs and stuff in my room. Once "Tiger King" came I realized it could get out of control, but I still needed this hog in my life so future me can cross that bridge down the road.

I named the blind albino hedgehog after Nostradamus, the dude who predicted the future. I decided to throw on some techno Sonic the Hedgehog music and just go to town with TikTok.

The towel and food did not work as well because there was too much variability in movement. But the hog picked correctly. The frog sucks hasn't picked right once all year. At this point, Nostradamus is 1-0


I thought it would be a better idea to put the hedgehog in one of those hamster balls to make the picks. I angled it on a ramp and the only other piece of wood I had on hand to do it with was a beer pong table that my buddies and I made with dip tins which I think is an artistic masterpiece. Hedgehog 2-0, frog still sucks. 


This is when Nostra really hit his stride as he went 5-1 on the weekend and we set up a nice system for him to make his picks. The only bad pick was the Green Bay-Tampa Bay game but no one could have predicted the Packers not showing up for this game. His only missed picks are teams that just don't show up to play.

He really outdid himself with this Cardinals pick where no one saw AZ as such a contender.

This is when Nostradamus only got 2 picks wrong and they were both the Patriots and Dallas getting blown out. Who would have thought that Cam Newton would play that poorly or Dallas having that much difficulty with the Football Team? He only has chosen wrong when teams just don't show up to play. At this point, the Hedgehog is 11-3. 


Nostradamus took the Rams easy on Monday night. 12-3

The Hedgehog is on a roll. If you are not riding with Nostra you are stupid. But fade the frog, he's still grieving a loss of one of his tank mates.

Nostradamus also out-picked Leroy 

Also, donate blood there's a huge shortage.

Get updates on Nostradamus @billyhottakes on Twitter and TikTok and @berserkerbloodcult on insta.