It doesn’t matter if you think 40 bowls are too many or you’re Kirk Herbstreit who thinks the current bowl system is like giving away a “participation trophy”, Saturday marks the starts of the bowl season in college football. I love bowl season (you can never get enough football) for many reasons, one of them being the list Sports Business Daily puts together every year of the gifts the bowls give away to the players of the two schools participating. I love looking at the absurd gifts given out every year to these #amature athletes. Here are the top-5 and bottom-10 gifts from this year’s bowls. We’ll start with the bottom 10 just because of the outstanding amount of bad gifts.
10. Bahamas Bowl: Gift suite; iSlides sandals; drawstring backpack; beach towel; bowl pin.
Never heard of these iSlide sandals. After a quick google search it appears they are at least $55. Count me out on iSlide sandals.
9. Cheribundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Boowl: Online gift suite “and an assortment of bowl-branded items”
Just what the FAU and Akron players need, Cheribundi Tart Cherry products!
8. R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl: Fossil Watch
Kanye’s “I admit my first watch was a fossil” line in See Me Now tells you all you need to know about this gift.
7. Foster Farmer Bowl: Fossil watch; Sony XB950N1 extra bass noise cancelling headphones; Timbuk2 backpack; coin, $25 Apple iTunes gift card
Legitimately shocked to learn there are still such things as iTunes gift cards. Haven’t seen one since 2008.
6. DXL Frisco Bowl: Gift Suite
For those of you who don’t obsess over bowl game gifts like I do, a “gift suite” is an excuse to give the players absolutely nothing. Fuck the DXL Frisco Bowl. The kids deserve better!!!!!
5. Dollar General Bowl: Amazon Echo; Maui Jim sunglasses; Timely Watch Co. watch; Wilson football
Just what football players need….another football!!
4. Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl: Gift suite; football
3. Raycom Media Camellia Bowl: Gift suite; Fossil watch; beanie; Ogio duffle bag; Big Game autograph football
Would love to know who signed this “Big Game” football. Really, I want to know
2. College Football Playoff National Championship presented By AT&T: Iconic gift
This better be so damn iconic.
1. Gildan New Mexico Bowl: Gift suite; Oakley sunglasses; Oakley 5-Speed backpack; Lit tumbler; beanie; Gildan stadium blanket; cap; Fidget Spinner
A fidget spinner? Really? Who thought that was a good idea? Did fidget spinners just get to New Mexico? What the hell even is a “Lit tumbler?” Is that something my cat owning English teacher has?
Oh, it’s just a knock-off Yeti. Got it.
5. Cactus Bowl: Yeti cooler and tumbler; Fossil watch; Ogio backpack; Legendary hat; JBL Flip 4 speaker; blanket.
I don’t know what this legendary hat is, but I know I want it.
4. Texas Bowl: Gift suite; Academy Sports + Outdoors gift card; adidas duffel bag; belt buckle
3. Hawai’i Bowl: Electronics gift suite; Oakley backpack and sunglasses; Tori Richard aloha shirt; beach towel; Pro Athletics surf trunks; performance t-shirt
Hell yeah. You get to go to Hawai’i and get an aloha shirt? COUNT ME IN:
2. Playstation Fiesta Bowl: PlayStation PS4 PRO bundle; Fossil watch; Ogio backpack
Wow, something college kids actually would use! Crazy idea here by the Fiesta bowl!
1. Quick Lane Bowl: $175 Best Buy gift card; JBL Bluetooth headphones; life-sized Fathead decal for each participant of his likeness; Ogio backpack and tag; mini helmet; hoodie; workout shorts; winter hat; vintage football.
I don’t know how this is going to work for the third-string, walk-on kicker, but if he gets a Fathead of himself standing on the decade that may be one of the greatest things to ever happen. Shout out the Quick Lane Bowl for making up to the players for making them come to Detroit.