We Need To Talk About This Alabama Recruit Who Is Allegedly 15-Years-Old

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The modern-day human being has come a longgggg way since spending their days in caves. The evolution of the human is fascinating, but we aren’t at the point where we are producing superhumans. That’s why when I see a supposed 15-year-old who looks like this, I get just a tinyyyy bit skeptical:

Meet Julien Simon out of Tacoma, Washington, who will allegedly graduate high school in 2021:

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Yup, he’s 15-years-old and has offers from USC, Colorado, Utah, and Oregon:

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How Sway……HOW!

If that MAN is 15-years-old than I am fighting at the next Rough N’ Rowdy against Floyd Mayweather and knocking him out cold in the first round. If that MAN is 15-years-old than I am going home to Nina Agdal tonight. If that Man is 15-years-old…you get the point.

Often when we see these superhuman high schoolers, they are 6’4+ and 300+ pounds offensive/defensive lineman and just freaks of nature. In this case, we are looking at a damn MAN. There is no other way to describe it. A damn MAN:

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Nope, I don’t care what place of the world we are, this is NOT normal.

Do we have a Canadian high school basketball case on our hand?

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We’ll see….we’ll see. I’d say it’s unlikely considering the hundreds, if not thousands, of times he’s been asked to provide his birth certificate to salty parents from the opposing team.