Alabama Student Arrested After Celebrating National Championship By Sitting Naked On A Porch

Tuscaloosa News-A University of Alabama student was jailed early Tuesday morning after UA staff found him naked on the front porch of a UA office building on Queen City Avenue. Officers found the 19-year-old man on the porch at 5 a.m., hours after thousand of people congregated on the nearby Strip to celebrate Alabama’s 17th National Championship win.

Don’t understand the arrest here to be completely honest. It’s funny how when Nick Saban makes a second-half adjustment he is applauded as the greatest of all time, but when this guy makes a second-half adjustment (partying naked) he is thrown in jail. Double-standard, much?

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“Upon our arrival, I saw a white male sitting on the porch naked with his clothes scattered in various places,” a UAPD officer wrote in the arrest report. ”(The student) stated that he had been drinking earlier in the night and didn’t know how he ended up there.” 

Sounds like cuzzo was beyond gone, but you’ve got to come up with a better excuse than this. Say you just came from a nudist party or you ran off from a house because the girl you were hooking up with boyfriend came home early…something! You could even try the “it’s 2018, you can’t tell me what to wear” card. Or even the “I’M ON FIRE” excuse:

What do you even do in that situation as a cop? Do you ask the kid to put on his clothes immediately? What if he started getting a little violent, would you throw his naked ass on the ground? I’m no cop, but this doesn’t sound like the best call to go out on.

The man was later released from the Tuscaloosa County Jail on $300 bond.

Tuscaloosa County Jail on Monday night/Tuesday morning must’ve been a damn nightmare.

“How’d you get in here?” “Well, I kinda jumped on a Police car and started dancing.”

“What about you?” “Was also dancing on top of a car, but it wasn’t a police car”

“Nice” “And you?” “Well, ended up naked on a porch.” “Ah, classic.”

@JackMacCFB on Twitter